As a child, I was always a bit of a trouble-maker. In middle school, my riotous laughing fits earned me more green slips (disciplinary letters sent to parents) than any other student I knew. In high school, I was kicked out of driver’s education for creating a chaotic uproar of laughter (not a proud moment for my mother, considering she worked for our local driver’s license office). Sometimes my fellow students were laughing at me, sometimes with me. It didn’t matter—we were laughing and it felt good.
I was the sort of laugher who, once I got started, could not stop. Tears rolled down my face from laughing so hard. My cheeks turned bright red from not getting enough oxygen, which somehow made things even funnier. I lived for those moments. I feel my spirit lighten up as I remember those days.
As life went on, I got more serious. Obnoxious laughter was not acceptable in college or the workplace (although I did try to stretch the boundaries on a number of occasions). I could feel the drag take over my body, and I felt myself age because of it. I wondered if the loss of humor was the sole reason that we age.
I firmly believe that humor is a spiritual gift, one that transports us from common experience to a feeling of elation. As long as it is not done in meanness, laughter lifts our spirit and reminds us not to take life so seriously. Good hearty laughter feels like bliss, which is why I believe it is one of the greatest spiritual opportunities the Divine has offered us.
We get bogged down with problems, the politics of our country and world, and problems in our personal lives. Perhaps things would not look so bad if we took things in stride, which means to let things go, not overreact to problems, not make things more difficult than they need to be, and not let life’s disturbances interrupt us from what is important, good, and joyful. Things will seldom go exactly our way, but that is life. Get over it. Get over yourself. It is not about you most of the time.
We forget that bad moments are usually temporary and make good stories later. If not a good story, perhaps the experience will provide a good lesson. We can’t avoid problems, but we can control how we respond to them. In those moments that bring us down, reduce stress by finding a bit of humor.
Humor creates good vibes, which we can share with others. Through emotional contagion, we spread positive emotions to others. The best part is that the good feelings tend to linger after the event, helping spread more positivity to even more people.
Here’s the thing with humor though, we can’t always wait for the right moments or the ideal situations. We have to create them. Be an initiator and get the ball rolling.
What are the Rules of Engagement Regarding Humor?
Be creative. Be authentic. Think outside of the box. Throw the rules out—except the one hard rule of avoiding meanness.
Humor is usually best when it is spontaneous and unexpected. Canned humor makes for groans. So, how do we cultivate humor with an element of surprise? Isn’t this type of planning, by definition, the opposite of spontaneity? Not really. I am not suggesting we stage humor ahead of time. Instead, I recommend nurturing our skills of observation.
By learning to see our environment with new eyes (metaphorically speaking…we don’t need to get new eyes…that would be creepy), we will see our environment in a new light. Learn to notice, perceive, and interpret a variety of experiences creatively. Notice oddities, contradictions, ironies, coincidences, idiosyncrasies, irrationalities, or random weird stuff. We frequently encounter these things but may have grown accustomed to them and no longer notice them.
As we get older, we have fewer new and novel experiences. Therefore, we must seek them out. When life gets too predictable or routine, shake things up. This doesn’t mean we should put whoopee cushions under our coworkers’ seats, but it might be okay if we did. Instead, we may want to point out that it is unfair that all Miss Universes have come from planet earth. Isn’t that discriminatory? In the same spirit, when pulled into a conversation about our political war over border walls, ask for clarification as to which type of aliens we are trying to keep out—those from foreign countries or the little green varieties.
In part, our ability to engage in humor is about the company we keep. Know that each of us is similar to those around us. Do you like what you see? What does this tell you about the type of company you are to others? If you are in a family, work, or friend culture that has grown dull, change it up. Seriously, no one wants to be bored, but most people don’t know why they are in a rut. Nor do they know how to get out of it. Take the lead and spice things up with humor.
Attitude is everything! We can build our humor muscles by modeling those people we admire. For me, I love Ellen DeGeneres’ dry wit, Jimmy Fallon’s creative and giddy performances, Kevin Hart’s charismatic self-depreciation and funny facial expressions, Tiffany Haddish’s wild rebellion, and author Jenny Lawson’s gift for turning adversity into great adventures (Lawson will teach you how to laugh at almost anything!), among numerous others. I am not like any of these people personally, but I feel their spirit moves me in ways that I love to be moved. As a result, I feel a bit lighter (although my scale begs to differ) and can channel more humor into my day. By exploring many types of humor, we expose ourselves to new ways of being that we may not have thought of before.
Be sure to maximize humor. In essence, this means not to kill or dampen the humor. Let it breathe for as long as it is effective. Expand it by adding more humor to it, keep it going. Some jokes might even last for years (like an “insider’s joke”), which not only makes for good fun but strong bonding.
Be sure to savor moments of humor internally. Linger in the positive emotions for a while. Reflect upon the funny encounter throughout the day to keep the invigorating vibe alive within. Smile as you ponder. People will wonder why you are smiling. Keep them guessing.
A good way to develop a sense of humor is through frequent exposure. Do humor-oriented things—attend comedy clubs, see funny movies, listen to comedy radio, watch humorous videos on youtube.com, and read books with humor. Share your experiences with others.
Humor is not just about entertaining others though. You can use it to entertain yourself. Therefore, indulge and binge-watch playful cat videos after a hard day of work. Listen to your favorite comedian on your way to work to prepare for a great day. Don’t worry about onlookers driving by. They are probably envious; hopefully, your smile and laughter will be contagious so they can also have a great day.
Productivity is a great thing for a society to strive for, but it is for nothing if we are not having fun. What is the point of doing anything if there is no reward of laughter during your days? Seize the moment!