Amid the various stimuli that occur around us, there is a continuous dialogue that goes on inside each of us. We are not always aware of this internal chatter, but it is always occurring. Self-talk, or internal communication, can be directed to produce positive results, or we can let it wander aimlessly if we do not care about the direction of our lives.
While it is important to understand and harness our self-talk to produce constructive outcomes, it is equally or more significant to realize the role that the Universe plays in listening and responding to all of our communication. Positively and negatively, everything we think, feel, say (verbally and nonverbally), do, perceive, interpret, envision, intuit, believe, intend, expect, imagine, appreciate, attend to, and every other means of sensing and expressing, provides requests to the Spiritual realm. Everything we emit—consciously and unconsciously—tells the Universe who we are and what we desire to create, and It responds accordingly to help us create the object of our attention.
Self-Talk
The quality of your life is determined largely by the habitual dialogue occurring inside yourself. Your internal communication may be supportive or critical, or likely a bit of both. Over time, you have established ways of talking with yourself that feel comfortable, familiar, and natural, regardless of whether the messages serve you or not.
To alcoholics, complainers, or overeaters, engaging in negative and harmful self-talk and behaviors feel comfortable and normal—even when the results are harmful. While you may or may not be an addict, you probably have some form of self-talk that does not serve you. It is best to maintain internal communication that is positive and constructive while minimizing or eliminating that which does not serve you.
Until you focus your inner dialogue on what you want and what is beneficial, and away from that which is negative or harmful, your inner and outer worlds will not change. The Universe listens and responds to all forms of your communication, so you will only get positive output when you give It positive input. You cannot think destructively and expect the Universe to give you positive results. Because you have free will, it can only bring you that which you attend to in your thinking, feeling, doing, and states of being.
Here’s the thing though: Sometimes, when we think we are focused on what we want, we are going about it negatively. For example, here is a hypothetical internal discussion from a person who wants a new job: “I don’t want to be at this awful job. My boss is a jerk. I hate struggling to get by. I deserve so much better. Why didn’t I go to college? One of these days, I’m going to show all these people and just quit. I can’t believe I am still here after all this time. I wasted too many years of my life. I need to break away and start over.” You may think, through a discussion like this with yourself, that you are thinking about and moving toward something better, but you are just keeping yourself stuck in what is.
To engage in constructive inner communication about a career change, try a productive discussion like this: “I’m so excited that I am using my time away from work to learn new skills, network with new people, and move toward my bigger vision. I appreciate that my current job offers fair pay, useful experiences, and enough time off to grow my knowledge in new directions, so it is helping me reach my goals. Every day, I am growing in prosperity. Within the next week, I look forward to updating my resume and cover letter so that I can send it off to ___, ___, and ___.”
As you could sense, the first scenario was not constructive. By creating angst and negativity, it was telling the Universe that you like to focus on what is wrong with your job rather than the ideal vision of what you desire. The Universe cannot bring you what you want if you focus only on what you do not want. Conversely, the second scenario felt positively charged, perhaps even motivational. You could sense that the words gave hope and a promise of things to come. In response, the Universe would receive a positive message and respond accordingly—bringing you more encouragement and success.
Affirmations
One way to orient your self-talk in the direction of what you desire is to include affirmations. Affirmations are declarative statements that you make to yourself and the Universe, announcing a change in who you are and what you desire to create. It is like using the power of suggestion on yourself, which also changes your communication to and response from the Universe.
You have witnessed the power of suggestion many times. If you have ever had a teacher, parent, or authoritative leader suggest that you are smart or dumb, pretty or plain, going places or going nowhere, or any number of suggestions, it is possible that you either believed them or set out to prove them wrong. Suggestions act like seeds planted in the subconscious mind, which will grow and flourish unless otherwise directed. This is wonderful when the suggestions are empowering. This can be devastating when the suggestions are negative.
You are surrounded by various forms of suggestions in your life, which may take hold in your mind as though there was no guard at the gate. I’m talking about ideas presented to you verbally and nonverbally from loved ones, coworkers, television, music, and magazine images, among numerous others. You must be vigilant about what you allow into our thoughts. Moreover, you must begin planting seeds of our choice, through positive self-talk and affirmations, so your mental garden will flourish with the beautiful flowers you have chosen rather than the weeds that grew through lack of attention.
How to Word Your Affirmations
· Affirmations are clear, specific, and concise declarative statements.
Example: I am mentally, physically, and spiritually healthy.
The main focus is on health, but the rest of the statement clarifies how one desires to create and experience health. This statement feels empowering and could produce a strong vision of the ideal, which adds to the creation power and strength of the affirmation.
Try not to complicate the wording of affirmations as this could impact your effects. An example of a complicated affirmation is as follows: I am mentally joyful, physically fit, and spiritually healthy. The statement introduces too many factors, making the message difficult to sense and imagine. Keep it simple, clear, and inspiring.
· State affirmations as though the objective is in the present tense.
Example: I embrace vibrant creativity in all aspects of my life.
Even if you are not living a vibrantly creative life right now, the statement invites you to visualize, imagine, and begin experiencing such a state just by the power of suggestion. Every time you make the statement, you will feel as though you are bringing it closer and closer to you. Not only does the power of suggestion remind you that this ideal is an option, but it also encourages you to look for opportunities to express your vibrant creativity.
· State affirmations positively, perhaps in the form of an appreciation.
Example: I appreciate the abundant career opportunities offered to me.
As I stated earlier, what you say and how you say it matters to you and the Universe. Positivity always invites positivity, and appreciation is the highest form of positivity available. Affirmations in the form of appreciations imply a high degree of trust in the Universe to bring the ideal to fruition.
· Remember to stay focused on what you want rather than on what you don’t want.
Example: I enjoy working in a job that allows me to grow spiritually.
You certainly would not want to word an affirmation based on what you don’t want, like in the following statement: “I want to have a job that is not soul-sucking.” This statement draws all sorts of negative images, none of which will likely draw to you what you want.
Check in with yourself as you state your affirmations. Do you feel inspired? Do you want what you are affirming? If so, you are heading in the right direction. If not, rework your affirmations so that they are in alignment with your highest ideals and goals.
· Make sure your affirmations are believable.
Example: I enjoy owning a beautiful, comfortable, and safe home.
You may dream of living in a castle or mansion, but would you believe it is possible? If so, go for it. If not, state your affirmations in a manner that reflects your ideal while being believable.
How to Use Affirmations
You can state your affirmations internally or externally. You can write them down ahead of time, or you can do them spontaneously—or you can do them both ways.
Do affirmations attentively and often. Repeating affirmations a few times in the morning, afternoon, and at night can help specific ideas sink into your subconscious mind. However, affirmations stated too many times or too often can minimize your attentiveness, sending you into rote memorization mode like a child learning the alphabet. Can you still hear the song now, “A, b, c, d, e….”? You do not want to do affirmations beyond the point of active engagement. You can experiment to determine effective affirmation usage that works for you.
Here are a few suggestions for how to integrate affirmations into your schedule:
· Morning: Try stating intentions for the day in the form of affirmations.
· Upon waking/before bed: State affirmations when you are in a calm and sleepy state of mind, or just before or after meditation, as your mind is highly receptive during these times.
· Any time of day: State your goals in the form of affirmations.
· In response to certain situations: You can devise affirmations as needed to meet certain demands during your day. For example, declare that you are excited, prepared, and successful before a big presentation. Affirm that you will be present and compassionate to your spouse and children upon returning home from work.
Final Thoughts
In my last blog, I spoke about the power of imagination and visualization as effective strategies for creating. Positive self-talk and affirmations are also powerful tools for creating, which provide the Universe with a blueprint for bringing your goals and intentions to fruition. The Universe delights in listening to and responding to you. It wants to help you create the world of your vision, but you must give it the raw materials (e.g., constructive thoughts, clear visions, empowering words, belief, etc.) from which to create. You have free will, so it cannot intervene unless you invite It. Be sure you are asking, offering, and appreciating consistently through all the means of communication that you have available to you.